Yeah, we've rolled out of bed on the right side finally and realized that all those RPG-carrying, Islam-yellin', non-English speakin' bastards have got to die. Every last one of 'em.
It's an infection. Kill one, two more grow up and replace him. Why not nuke 'em? Oh, that wouldn't look good on the evening news, I mean, think about Japan. We had to bully them into selling us Transformers and that damn Yugi-Oh! shit again after last time.
The Iraqi's are just a bunch of angry people that hate America and (as a friend said to me today) if we have to kill 'em to protect ourselves, our soldiers, and eventually - America, then I say kill those fuckin' Jihad assholes.
Yeah, sure we haven't found any WMD's yet, but we found something much better, a bunch of people that don't know a democracy from a dictatorship and act like clay for us to mold. We can just sit in our Apache helicopters sippin' on a cold one and right when the little bastards climb out of their hole, we'll blast 'em like a 6-year-old burning an ant with a magnifying glass.
After all, we're the United States of America. Who the hell do they think they are?! After over 200 years of war-free domestic soil they think they can just waltz in here and take out the World Trade Center. I mean, who would we be if we didn't rape their women and kill their children, burn their mosques and destroy their way of life? A bunch of pussies, that's what. We paid good money to build those buildings. Those were good people up there and down in the streets with wives and babies and mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers.
You want to know the best part though? We can all sit at the Starbucks on the corner and watch congresswomen get shot through the head in Arizona, US helicopters fire upon and kill Iraqi children and innocents, and Rush Limbaugh talk about how the Head Nigger in Charge is responsible for Armaggedon, the Holocaust, the National Debt, J.R. gettin' shot on Dallas, the Burning of Terra, 9/11, smallpox, the plague, and the dog from down the street taking a shit in my front yard all with three clicks of a mouse.
Of course, this is all the Al Qaeda's fault. All of it. I mean, Uncle Sam didn't foreclose on your house and neither did those nice people at the bank. It's that damn Al Qaeda. BP didn't spill that oil. Those Iraqis did. I mean even their name sounds like a suicide bomber or something, right?
"Praise Alla? Well how 'bout I put All-a my foot in your ass?" said America. Loudly. And it's a damn good thing too because we weren't about to let those two buildings be forgotten... Well, I mean there's some oil over there too that we need so we can drive our Ford Focuses down to the mall with our pretty little wives and pretty little kids and buy a couple of hundred dollars worth of shit that was made for about a nickel and a dead dog over in Bangladesh or some other country over there in Asia or something.
Congratulations America, you've finally awoken. Say hello to the world you and I have created, I really hope those bastards don't see us comin'.
Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting terrorists.
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